cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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