Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
