"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
