I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
