I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
