You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
