i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Randomize
