i barfeds in our rink
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
