My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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