Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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