There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
