went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
