i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
