She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
