Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
