the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
