Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
