butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish I only lived at night.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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