please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
