she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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