Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
