So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
