how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
