my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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