your parents love me but you hate me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
