i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
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we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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