i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
