Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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