I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
