We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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