Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
