it's not cheating when I paid for it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
