Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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