you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
