I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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