but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
