Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You're like the curious george of whores
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
