so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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