Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
