You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize