That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
