If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
