Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?

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(602): View more from Arizona

at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long

Fav 8 1372 3790
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(785): View more from Kansas

The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.

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(914): View more from New York

I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him

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(347): View more from New York

Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free

Fav 1 9 19
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