Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
