have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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