I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
