clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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