Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
