census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
