Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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