very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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