Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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