Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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