ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
