butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
