This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
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No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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